Frequently Asked Questions
How old are you?
I am fifty-five years old.
Are you gay or straight?
I am heterosexual.
Are you married?
I’ve been divorced nearly ten years. I had one relationship after marriage, and gave up on dating after a slew of dates with no real connection.
Do you have children?
I have one biological son and one adopted son. Each of my sons has a daughter.
Where do you live?
I live in a small village south of Kalamazoo, Michigan.
Where are you from?
I grew up in a small town East of Kansas City, Missouri.
Where were you born?
I was born in a small town in Southeastern Colorado.
What do you do?
I work in the software industry and support payroll and accounting software. I am the senior support analyst on my team.
What are your hobbies?
I play table top role playing games, like Dungeons & Dragons. I have been playing D&D since 1977. I love to read and enjoy history, science fiction, and fantasy. I am also interested in genealogy.
What were your symptoms?
Other than occasional urgency to pee or having to get up from sleep to pee, I had no idea I was sick. I was fine and able to do most things I wanted to do, just not as quickly and easily as when I was in my 20’s & 30’s.
I have had high blood pressure for several years and my medications cause urgency and frequency, so it was easy to think it was normal, or due to medications.
How did you find out you had prostate cancer?
My primary doctor has checked my PSA (Prostate Specific Antigen) as part of the blood work for my annual physical. It was elevated two years in a row so he recommended I see a urologist.
The urologist did a DRE (Digital Rectal Exam) and estimated it to be twice normal size. He recommended a biopsy to rule out cancer.
The biopsy showed signs of cancer in eight of the twelve sample taken from my prostate. During the biopsy, the probe gives an ultrasound image and it showed my prostate to be about twice normal size. (It was actually four times normal size when it was removed.)
Seven of those samples were on the high end of slow growing non-aggressive. The eighth sample was on the low end of fast growing and aggressive.
What is a prostate biopsy like?
You do a partial cleanse. Liquid diet after supper the night before and an enema before leaving for your appointment.
You are given antibiotics before the surgery to help avoid infection.
For the biopsy a thumb-sized probe is inserted rectally. It has ultrasound capabilities. There are openings through which needles to collect samples are inserted.
A total of twelve samples are taken, six from each side of the prostate. The needles are inserted through the wall of the anus and into the prostate.
The doctor said, before inserting the first needle, “This will feel like a bee sting.” That worried me as I have been stung on the pinky by a bee and my whole arm hurt. However, they used a numbing gel, so it just felt like pressure.
Since they numbed the area I felt no real pain until I was driving home and was about halfway home. It was uncomfortable to sit for a few hours.
I had blood in my urine and stool for a couple of weeks. There was blood in my semen for about 8 weeks. Reddish semen is weird.
I did not want to ride my bike for several weeks.
I felt more pain and discomfort in that region than from the surgery. Surgery is more tender in the abdomen.
What can be done to keep your prostate healthy?
I will be adding information as I find it. I welcome your submissions. This is no longer an issue for me, since mine was removed.
How long does robot assisted prostatectomy take?
Everyone is different. The time frame I was given was at least 3 1/2 hours if all went perfectly, but generally four hours.
My surgery took 3-1/2 hours from the time they wheeled me back to the time I was in recovery. It challenge for the surgeon because my prostate was four times normal size and I have a long torso and a narrow pelvis.
How much does robot assisted prostatectomy cost?
I have yet to get any bills. I was close to my deductible when I had the surgery so I’m hoping for a relatively small out of pocket expense.
I created a new page with the portion of the bill that is final and the portion that is still pending insurance here.
How big is your scar/How many stitches did you have?
I have 5 one inch incisions from the laparoscopic devices, and one for the drain tube. They are not done healing yet, so I don’t know what kind of scars I’ll have.
I only had one external stitch to hold the abdominal drain tube in place. The rest are all internal stitches. I’ll ask how many internal stitches there were.
Are you cancer free?
If the cancer is totally contained within the prostate, yes. I am still waiting on the pathology report. I was told it takes at least a week after surgery.
I got my pathology results ten days after surgery at my appointment to get the catheter out. Generally, the cancer appears to be contained in the prostate. Because the doctor cut things close to preserve the nerves for sexual function, there was not a clean margin of healthy cells, so there is a minuscule chance some cells got missed.
To verify that my cancer is cured, I will have a quarterly PSA (Prostate Specific Antigen) test for the next year, starting in December, 2020, to verify all is well. It should either be 0 or never go up. Then I just need it checked annually with my physical.
What will you do if the cancer is outside the prostate?
I assume the options are either radiation or chemo. I’ll cross that bridge if I come to it.
What does a urinary catheter feel like?
Because it was inserted after I was under general anesthesia, I have no recollection of pain. When I woke up I felt like I had to pee, but that was due to bladder spasms.
I don’t really feel it unless it snags on something and tugs. It is an unpleasant, but not painful feeling.
Sometimes, when I move just right, it rubs and irritates at the tip of my penis. This happens if I’m not careful how I sit, etc.
How long did you have a catheter?
The catheter is necessary to allow the location the prostate occupied and the bladder reconstruction to heal. Generally it is kept in place seven to ten days. My doctor scheduled mine to be in place ten days. I indeed had mine out ten days after surgery.
What does it feel like when the catheter is removed?
I’ll update this once mine is removed. I’m hoping for weird rather than painful.
Thankfully, it was just really weird. The nurse has you sit down and relax and take a deep breath, then on exhale she pulls and it’s over in 3 seconds or less. I was amazed at how much was up inside me, about 10 or 11 inches.
How often do you have to empty the bag?
It depends on which bag. The leg bag is pretty full after an hour. I love the freedom it gives and the ability to have both hands free. The extra trips to the bathroom to empty it is frustrating.
The big bag will get you through the night. The great thing is you don’t have to wake up from sleep to pee.
How do you take a shower with a catheter?
I empty the bag after getting undressed. I then unhook the bag once I’m standing in the shower, and I let the urine flow while I’m in the shower.
Other than not feeling like I can raise up my left leg, the leg the drain tube is secured to, to wash it. It’s a normal shower, which is awesome!
Can you drive?
My doctor said do not drive with the catheter in. I understand why. Moving your legs in a braking motion is uncomfortable. It would irritate your bladder and its reconstruction surgery. I’m not worried about that.
The day I got my catheter out, I drove to the local sub shop to pick up lunch and the local taco place to pick up supper. I had no problems driving. I was able to get in and out of the truck without the step ladder.
Do you have to wear a diaper?
While the catheter is in yes. The tube is not a 100% dry seal, so there is both urine leakage, and discharge from your body’s attempt to dislodge the foreign body.
To avoid the hassle of dressing and undressing to change my disposable underwear, I use a pad that is quick and easy to swap out and makes the diaper last longer. I usually go through one or two during the day and one at night.
Technically, what I use is called disposable underwear. They’re basically pull-ups for adults. I am still wearing them now that the catheter is out. A laugh, sneeze, cough, or other movement like turning in my chair, or bending over causes leakage.
It will take up to 6 months for my bladder to fully recover and maintain continence. I have been given pelvic floor exercises to do before surgery and once the catheter is removed. The more I do them, the better the results.
I’ll update as the healing process continues.
How long until you are fully healed?
I am not to lift anything over ten pounds for two weeks. It will be about four weeks until I am fully healed from the surgery.
Other aspects of “Fully Healed” are regaining continence, and sexual function. Those vary by individual, and are six months or more away.
What is sex like after a prostatectomy?
I’d really like to know myself! The urologist told me that since I had a vasectomy and now no prostate, that ejaculation will be dry, i.e. nothing, since the prostate produces the fluid that carries the semen.
My interest is still there. I’ll be dead before that stops.
Men's Health in My Perspective 